Temple of Them
by yourjodeanfaceblog
Summary: This is a prequel of sorts to a Tumblr drabble I wrote earlier today. I hope you enjoy it and all feedback is greatly appreciated. Per usual, I do not own Doctor Blake Mysteries. I am just inspired by the characters there.


Jean sat in the tiny chapel at the hospital. She had waited until Lucien was in a deep sleep before leaving him. It had been a long night, full of highly charged emotions she needed to process. She let the nurses know where she would be in case he woke up, then went to pray and think. The room was empty, probably due to the hour, and she was appreciative. That turned out to be a good thing for more than one reason. The thoughts and prayers started silently, but she was in discussion with herself, in full voice in that tiny holy place by the end of it.

She had asked for guidance earlier, as Father Emory suggested, and this is what happened. Lucien was almost killed. She was made to feel the loss of him, the mere possibility of the loss of him, and she knew she could never leave him, and she was mad. Mad as hell. At God.

The God she had revered her whole life had dealt her a situation that, if belief dictated, would have her leave the greatest love and happiness she had ever known, to save her own soul. To choose a life of unhappiness, without Lucien because he was divorced. For that reason alone, she was to walk away from a love that felt heaven sent. A love like no other she knew of for anyone in her life. A great love. One she would have called a gift from God, were it not fraught with issues from that same Gods church. A church, she was beginning to see, that was full of contradictions and... judgement. And she was confronting all of that now.

She felt more happy, comfortable and at peace with Lucien than she ever had in her whole life. Definitely more so than with Christopher, the church or anyone in it. Even when he was a hurricane, there was a calm for them at the center of it, and she refused to believe that was wrong. And if it was wrong to the Catholic Church, then that wasn't where she belonged anymore. She had been paying attention and listening for weeks, as those around her spoke of their own faith. Some with different rules and rewards, some Godless even, but they were all based in love. In being a better person and living a life of community, helping others. Was she supposed to think those who believed differently than she had were destined for damnation? Lucien was destined for hell. Would she share that same fate by breaking from the structure of Sacred Heart Church? Would everyone she knew there think that as well? What kind of community would do that? Not one she wanted to be a part of.

Her community was now this motley crew of misfits, all wounded and beautiful and perfectly fit together. They were more a family than anyone in the church had been to her. Sure, some had been there for her after Christopher died, allowing her to live under the blanket of guilt and sadness she had been left with after he was gone. And then they were gone, in a sense. She, and she alone held up her tiny family, what was left of it. And made sure they had a home, food and all of life's other necessities. Then enter Dr. Thomas Blake, who would unknowingly hand her a real future. At first by way of putting a roof over her head after losing the farm, and now as a means for a true life of happiness and fulfillment. One like she had never dared imagine for herself. With his son of all things. And she was to give that up? To choose to give it up? Never.

She would leave that chapel with a new take on her spiritual life and the destiny of her soul. She would take the good from her Catholic past and literally marry it to the faith found in following her own heart, and God. She knew now, without a doubt, where he lived, and that was in her heart. He was not in a building, nor was he represented by any man on earth. He was in the people and flowers she loved. He was part of her and with her always, not just on Sunday and certainly not contained in any building. She had no fear left. None but the fear of losing Lucien.

With that last thought, she crossed her heart and left, returning to the face of her future. It wouldn't be a smooth journey, but it would be an interesting one, full of love. She looked at Lucien as she opened the door, expecting to find him sleeping, but he was looking right at her. She didn't know exactly how she would tell him that he need no longer fear their future together, but she would find a way to let him know. She knew her uncertainty had hurt him, how could it not. But he had been so patient, letting her figure it out for herself. His trust in her, her trust in him, that was the only temple she would worship at again, the temple of them.


End file.
